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DDLJ Land

Welcome to DDLJ-land. It may sound a little, just a little, like La-la-land. (Yes, the la-la-land that Katrina lip syncs to in that awfully disturbing title song of Tees Maar Khan.) But this one is different. This one’s marginally more sane. Largely because yours truly has been living here since 1995. ūüôā

Here, you *have* to write lovey dovey poems in Hindi talking about Andekhe Anjaane guys.

Here, you believe that people must not name their kids Raj unless they are ‘Raj material’.

Here, you are supposed to hallucinate and show schizophrenic symptoms when you are in love.

Here, your hero should always take the mushkil raasta just because it is sahi and because his died-before-i-remember mom told him so.

Here, your dad is the villain in your life. Wait, lets strike that one off the list.

Here you are reminded at random times about how you should be a Hindustani and that your hero is infact a dhabba on a Hindustani. Oh and then, you have to wait for that moment when the hero makes a poor pigeon’s bullet wound septics by putting our desh ki powerful and magical mitti on the wound and hence prove his desi quotient.

Here, any act of supposed pervertedness on the part of your hero is to excused in the name of well, raj-ness.

However insane and lame this world is, I like it here. Nothing here is real. But I love looking for DDLJ-land in the not-that-smart ¬†‘real’ world. And to people who think DDLJ is little too melodramatic and aisa-real-life-me-thode-hi-hota-hai, let love, or whatever they call it these days, happen to you. I can count on you acting weirder, stupider and funnier than Raj and Simran ever did.

Indu. ūüôā

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Finally. Over a month after the last post, I am back!!!

Being, in someone on twitter’s ¬†(I seriously dont remember whose) words, a Fraud Mallu, it isnt exactly my dream to be ragged interact with seniors from my technical motherland.

Here again, I have my own weird logic. Its something like this: Its wrong to determine my mother tongue by simply going by where my parents were born. The reason being, if I was to go back into time with the same logic, it would imply that all Homo sapiens are Africans. Get it? No? Dont worry, its not you. Nobody ever gets it.

Anyway, coming back to what I was saying… The thing is I have always been a Hindi speaking non Malayali keralite who hates coconut and hence eats only Sambar and Rice in the Sadhya. Anyway the BITS guys managed to get me to compere in a Saree. Yes, in a Saree. And I also had the proper Sadya. Things college does to you.

So right now, I am beginning to doubt the Fraudness of my Mallu identity. And part of the reason is the awesome ‘True Mallu’ tee the guys have. I would do *anything* to get that tee. Anything, including introducing myself in Malayalam a thousand times over. Wait, haven’t I have done that already? ūüėõ

Anyway, thats all I have for now. I’ll try to post again as soon as I can. I cant really promise though. I could make history out here – being the first 010 to flunk a subject. Or maybe two. Or maybe four.

Indu. :s

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Stereotyping is bad. Very ¬†very bad. But its fun. So here is my list of 7 ‘species’ of people you would come across most often in a typical high school.

Why 7? Because 7 is a good number and my creativity is limited.

This is list is extremely biased and is based solely on my personal opinion, dislikes and grudges. Any resemblance to any person living, dead or in my batch is purely intentional. If you happen to be among the misfortunate jokers, feel free to comment. You are only giving away your identity. ūüôā

1. The Cool Dude

  • Calls himself dA dUDe who is kEwL
  • Takes the Axe/Zatak ads too seriously and always smells of either of the two.
  • Talks about himself in third person like our Suresh Gopi. Only the names he gives himself will be in english and will necessarily contain some or all of these words – Trouble, hell, Dude, Guy, Sexy, Charmer.
  • Will watch MTV STyle Check to find out what is hot and what is not.
  • Is sometimes also found watching Gtalk (yes, that stooopid show on MTV). The stated purpose is to ogle at the sexy legs but I know better.
  • Often found wearing T shirts in vivd hues with self praise things scribbled all over.
  • Have a fetish for the playboy bunny.

2. The Paris Hilton idolizers

  • Dumb dumb dumb
  • So dumb that she wont know who Paris Hilton is.
  • Frets for a week over what to wear for her Bday party.
  • Real appearance is not known for all visible parts of the body are caked with a whole bunch of funny sounding and smelling chemicals.
  • Listens only to Akon, High School Musical, Twilight, Jonas Brothers and thinks its all cool
  • Her orkut/facebook profile will contain words like princess, rockstar, queen of hearts.

3. The not-so-gaudy Dudes

  • Will look down upon everyone because they speak English with a little less accent.
  • Tend to feign rebellious nature by creating orkut communites. But this is a mere tactic to keep people from seeing his real scared self.
  • Use pronouns while talking bad about people, which by the way happens to be his hobby.
  • Thinks LGBT jokes are funny and is convinced that cracking such jokes elevates his status.
  • Will scorn at everything that is ‘down-market’.
  • Will cry more than the most sissiest girls you know. He cries when he is scared, upset, angry – just about always.

4. The look-i-am-so-cute-and-inocent gang of girls

  • D E S P E R A T E
  • Makes a desperate effort not to fit in, to be different.
  • Phenomenally talented at pretending remorse, grief etc.
  • Calls herself a ‘tomboy’ and shows off how much she hates dressing up but will secretly imagine herself as the hot chick.
  • Obsessed with black nail paint.
  • Snaps on orkut/facebook will fit in perfectly with the ads in the classifieds for ,well, you know who.
  • Loves the attention she gets especially from members of the 3rd species when she behaves like her skull is empty.
  • Proud of her stalker count. (I have a feeling she stalks herself and then tells us all about it)

5. The i-wanna-be-cool dudes

  • Pretty similar to species 1 and 3, but hasn’t attained the required proficiency at mimicking them.
  • Is the butt of all jokes.
  • Feels good about being the joke and being kicked around.
  • Any popularity is good popularity.
  • Will have a dumb Chinese phone which he (and only he) thinks is stylish, classy and technologically superior.
  • Will wear fake Aviators in an AC room.

6. The Compulsive Flirt

  • Has an opposite sex detector is always hanging around the largest group of ¬†guys/girls.
  • Is armed with a collection of subtle(??) pick up lines which are cheesier than the cheesiest Govinda dialogues.
  • Took Karan Johar an Kuch Kuch Hota Hai way too seriously and hence befriends every hot and not-so-hot guy/girl and make filmy promises of friendship.
  • Sends what he/she considers flirty yet subtle shayari SMSs.
  • Blushes way too much.

7. The Heartbreak kids

  • Will try hard to look really sad.
  • Write emo poemscopied form the net ¬†in a secret diary which he/she makes sure is passed on to everybody.
  • Often found claiming to have slit his/her wrist with the blunt side of the knife.
  • Sends SMSs about incomplete love at 12 in the night.
  • Bribes you with chocolates to give a Valentines day gift to his/her beloved.
  • Any mention of someone in love will evoke a response that goes something like this – ‘Kaash mere paas bhi aisa koi hota

That rounds up my list. I have refrained from using swear words and abuses because I guess I didn’t want to be too mean to you guys. And please, if you do fall in any of the categories, please dont change. You will take away from me, the sole entertainment in my life.

What? Which category do I belong to? I choose to be the outsider – someone who is at the center of the madness, doesnt have to be a part of it and blog about it when she has no other ideas. ūüôā

Indu.

PS: Anyone who can come up with drawings/cartoons/illustrations for each of these species and can help me out with it is welcome to contact me.

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Random Rants

Ok. This is my blog. So I get to vent out all my disgust, displeasure and disagreement here. Here I go

  • I’ve come to realize that it is not possible for anybody to stay away from the mainstream by choice. Acceptance by the majority is always of prime importance. Be in teenage groups or be it adults, the basic question before doing anything is ‘Sab kya kar rahe hai’. The only non-mainstream guys are the ones who are just never accepted, no matter how hard they try. And these above mentioned social rejects will very happily dump their stand the moment they realize that doing so will gain them acceptance. Complex.
  • Females are a mystery. I am one, but I still find most of them strange. Of what good could a transparent nail polish be? For that matter, what good is a nail ‘polish’ or those funny designs you put on them? People¬†aren’t¬†really interested in looking at that tiny little star you stuck on the tiny finger of your left hand. Or are they?
  • Why do people always talk about present as the ‘materialistic, selfish, cruel, cunning’ world? Why do they always say that nowadays people are¬†bothered¬†only about themselves? I mean, read the Mahabharatha. What we see today is what the Gods did then. It¬†isn’t¬†too different. People killed their own brothers so that they could win back their kingdom or something.
  • How our education boards treat Languages and Humanities is a pity. English lessons and poems are treated like reading comprehension passages. Poems are dissected for logic. There is understanding, but no appreciation. Albert Einstein’s “on Education’ is termed ‘the most boring lesson’. And after 12 years of studying in an English medium school, people still find it tough to write an 80 word paragraph on an ATM. 17 years olds are confused about the location of the Hindu Kush mountains. Mr. Sibal, are you listening?
  • The highlight of the 1st anniversary of 26/11 wall full of nothing but¬†cynicism. The revelation that keeping Kasab alive costs us 31 crores gave the brainless¬†bourgeoisie¬†more fodder to chew on. Two thing I want tell them. First, You have a problem with 31 crores for that 2o something chap and you¬†don’t¬†have any trouble with ten times that money being spent to build that Shivaji statue in the sea. Do I see double standards? Oh yes I do. Second, killing Kasab is not going to scare the terrorists. They come to die and by killing them you are only completing their mission. There is a much larger issue which has to be dealt with. And as long as that remains unresolved nothing will deter the terrorists.
  • It is sad no one remembers the Bhopal Gas Tragedy victims like they remember the 26/11 heroes. They were innocent as well. The numbers and the after effect were much larger at Bhopal. But we choose to overlook it. Sad.

Signing off for now.

Indu

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Random pictures. Some of them pretty. Some of them lame and pointless. Here they are:

Get up early in the¬†morning. You are missing a lot if you aren’t. The early morning sky is so different everyday – Beautiful colors,¬†swiveling clouds.

 

 

 

 

Proud to present my new neighbours. They live, well… everywhere – Treetops, benches, grounds, swings. Notice how some monkeys behave like humans and some humans behave like monkeys.

Lots of power cuts at night has forced mom to finally put to use all those pretty candle stands.

Random things at school which caught my fancy.

Testimony of my perennial chocolate craving.

An expression of anger.

Wait. Can I call this a masterpiece in modern art?

The last one.

My eye. You could use this one to teach parts of an eye in bio class.

Signing off for now.

Indu.

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